Borderline Retarded

Saturday, December 30, 2006

I am enjoying day 3 of my 5 day weekend. I had a hard time enjoying my first day off on Thursday; there was all sorts of bad things happening with our payroll account and I feel bad that I wasn't around to help out more. I don't really think there was much I could do, but still.

I took the kids over to my parent's house on Thursday, then went to the factory outlets to do a little bit of shopping. Those gift certificates are burning a hole in my wallet! I took myself out to see a movie, "A Night at the Museum" or whatever that dang thing is called. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I had myself a Cherry Coke the size of my head, and some peanut butter cups. I saw a preview for a sequel to "Bruce Almighty" that looks like it is going to be hysterical. I might even get my husband out to see that one!

We enjoyed dinner out last night with some friends visiting from Kentucky. They are expecting their first baby in May, and I am so happy we can get a chance to catch up now. It might be a couple of years before we see each other again. I have also discovered that I love to talk about my kids, pregnancy and labor and dispense advice (or assvice, I never know). I keep telling our friends to tell me to shut up at any point. They seem happy for the advice. I think they are very analytical in nature, and are kind of playing the field of parenting advice, almost like conducting interviews and taking polls. I like that approach. My friend Jenn and I had our first babies 3 months apart, so we had to muddle through as best we could.

My cousin Kristin is expecting her first baby any time now. She moved with her husband to Oregon about a year ago, and the only family they have close by are his grandparents. Thanks to the miracle of e-mail, I can yack about breastfeeding to my heart's content! I have also tried very hard to remember all of the advice and stories I had from our Gran, who passed away in February. I know Kristin is missing her, especially now. When we were talking about cribs, I even remembered the style of crib that Gran had, and I think Kristin is going to get the same kind. It's the little things.

We have been invited to a New Year's party at my sister in law's house. If we could get a sitter, I wouldn't mind going. It seems that everyone is either busy or disinclined to watch the rugrats. I think I would much rather folks come to our house, but it is a long drive for everyone. My husband gave me a bottle of 2002 Mumm Brut for Christmas. I have it chilling as we speak! I will be perfectly content to ring in the new year with my hubby and some bubbly.

My husband's birthday is next week and I have the BEST present for him. I can't wait for him to open it! I hope he likes it. If not, I guess it will be a gift for me because I am NOT taking it back! I don't know yet what he would like to do for his birthday. The last few years we have stayed home. It must be hard for him to think about another party after having 4 different Christmas parties last weekend!

I hope everyone has had a wonderful Christmas season.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Dear Santa,

Thanks! You rock!


Merry Day After Christmas!

I am running on fumes right now, but we had a wonderful weekend. I am back to work today.

New baby's daycare is closed, and his Papa and Tutu are watching him for the next couple of days. They wanted to watch old baby too, so we are taking a vacation week for him. I have Thursday and Friday off. Woo hoo!

My parents are going to watch the kids on Thursday, and I am going to try and have a "me" day. We'll see how that goes. I am planning to go see the new Ben Stiller movie, what is it called? Museum somethin........ A Night at the Museum? You know the one I'm talking about. Friday I am bringing the kids around to hubby's office and mine. I guess I like showing them off! Hopefully, I will be able to spend some time with our friends who are visiting from out of state.

Our weekend was jam-packed with activities. Saturday was the BIG Christmas party with my mom's side of the family. She is the oldest of six, and I have a dozen cousins and they have just as many kids. This was our first Christmas without Gran. I had thought it was going to be difficult, but it seemed like we were able to cheer each other up. Whenever someone seemed to be teary-eyed, the children were the ones who brought them back up. Little angels!

Sunday morning saw us back at my parent's house for brunch and to open gifts with my two sisters and my brother in law. By that point, old baby was ready to go back home. We kept telling him we could open up and play with his new toys after we got home. So, as soon as he was finished opening presents, he would say "OK - time to go home!". We tried to explain the true meaning of Christmas, but, he is only 3. Considering, he did an excellent job keeping it together.

We got home around 12:30 on Sunday afternoon, and I started a marathon banana nut bread baking spree. I was able to make 6 loaves before we left to our friend's house in Napa for another party. My hands have been aching since yesterday morning! I must be getting old.

We were at our friend's house until 10:00 that night. Santa even made a visit for our three little ones in the group. It was awesome. He even knew the boys' names and gave them each two gifts. We were able to talk to our friend who lives in Boston. I haven't seen her since old baby was just a month or two old.

Monday was Christmas at my husband's sister's house. Trying to keep up with new baby really wore me out, but I did enjoy myself. My mother in law fell at a friend's house last week. Her ribs were hurting her, so she went to the hospital. A doctor called them the next day to ask if she had been prescribed any antibiotics. This was puzzling, until the doctor said she had been diagnosed with pneumonia. Christmas morning found her back at the hospital because her pain was excrutiating. It turns out she probably doesn't have pneumonia, just a couple of broken ribs. Two doctors looked at her X-ray and knew why she was in the hospital and said she didn't have pneumonia; one doctor who knew nothing about her history looked just at the X-ray and said she had pneumonia because of a dark spot. The other doctors said the dark spot was likely caused because she couldn't take a deep enough breath due to her broken ribs. She and my father in law did eventually make it to the party, and it seemed like they enjoyed themselves. She is quite a trooper!

I fell to the couch in an exhausted heap last night, and finally dragged me butt to bed at about 9:00. I had the most bizarre dreams last night, mostly that my older sister was driving Thomas the Tank Engine, and she kept jumping the tracks and crashing into fields and vineyards.

It will be difficult to focus today; maybe I need a little bit of egg nog to get me going!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I kind of miss last Christmas. I had a 2 week old baby, so all I was expected to do was show up.

le sigh

I realized on Monday morning that my left eye was twitching. That usually means I'm stressed out, or I am tired. Or both. After this week's festivites at work, I am certainly less stressed out. Still tired though! Those kids need to stop waking me up at 3:00 in the morning. Today it was old baby crying because he was trying to grab his pillow and blanket and head out into the living room, but his blanket got stuck on the guard rail on his bed. I really need to teach him how to grab the blanket off without getting it stuck. Or, at least not to cry about it when it doesn't go his way. What a baby. (just kidding)

I probably could have gotten back to sleep if new baby didn't start whining about 1/2 hour later. I fell asleep about 10 seconds before my alarm went off at 5:30.

le sigh

Do you feel pity for me yet? Because I can sigh louder if I have to.

I kept hitting the snooze, then finally dragged myself out of bed at 6:00 and realized I'd forgotten to take the garbage out to the curb last night.

New baby finally woke up and started wailing, which only got worse when evil mommy showed up and sucked the snot out of his nose with a bulb syringe. He feels better now, but there is nothing worse than your tiny baby pushing you away with all his might and crying the great big crocodile tears of sadness and woe. He did let me cuddle him while he drank his bottle of milk which is a rare pleasure for me any more. Usually he wiggles away and finds his own little corner to have his bottle.

Everybody seemed in a much better mood after having a chance to wake up. My husband and I shared a kiss which brought the funniest look to old baby's face. I was pointing this out to said husband when he herded me back into the bedroom for a little snuggle. We both wondered if we could call in a sick day.

However, being the upright responsible citizens that we are, we herded the kids out into the cold and made our merry way. We stopped at the grocery store after dropping off the kids so I could grab some OJ and croissant for our breakfast potluck. Thinking of mimosas, I also brought a bottle of chilled Mumm from the fridge.

Somehow, after all that, we still made it to work on time.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Thanks to Betty and Tally, we have a fun filled Christmas week ahead of us here at work. They really went all out organizing something fun for every day this week (except Friday, not enough people will be here!).

Today, we had a cookie exchange. 7 people signed up, and we each made 7 dozen cookies. One dozen goes to each person who signed up, and one dozen is for taste testing! It was so much fun! We bought a 5 foot deli sandwich to share, and sampled all the goodies. Maria's cookies really were the best with all sorts of shapes, hand made and hand colored frosting. She even made three special cookies for old baby that look like a train.

I made date filled bar cookies. We also had: frosted sugar cookies, rum balls, peanut butter cookies with a chocolate kiss on top, sugar cookies with Andes mints inside (yum!), "boiled" cookies (really just a mass of chocolate, peanut butter and oats - very tasty), and snickerdoodles. Not a bad haul, and now I have a large variety of cookies for all the holiday parties we will attend this weekend.

Tomorrow we have a "Secret Santa" gift exchange and poltuck. I am planning to make split pea soup for my contribution. I've only made it one time; unfortunately I had 5 teeth pulled (4 wisdom and one molar) the day before. I spent all day making that soup and got violently ill after having a bowl. I think it was a problem with the antibiotic being too hard on my stomach. That was about 10 years ago, and I am just now feeling like I can try pea soup again.

Wednesday we have an "ornament exchange". I think I will check out the Hallmark store at the mall to find something nice.

Thursday we have a breakfast potluck. I am trying to think of something I can bring that will still taste OK if it's not warm. We don't have an oven here at work, and most breakfast items are better warmed up.

We had such a good time today, and I am looking forward to the rest of the week.

I have to laugh at people. Otherwise, I might cry.

I came in to work this morning with a message on my voicemail. Normally, I don't get too many messages. For that I am thankful. This message, however, strove to out do any message I have ever received.

This man called me in response to 2 voicemails I left him regarding a paycheck from September our bank shows has not been cashed. The messages I left for him were quick and to the point, just asking for him to get back to me whether he had the check or not. He only worked for us for about a month, otherwise his supervisor would be taking care of this situation for me.

The message he left for me on Friday night was 10 MINUTES LONG. 10. Whole minutes.

Apparently, this particular ex- employee is suing us for a variety of reasons, none of which I was fully able to understand even though he described each incident in great detail. From what I gathered, and I made Kelly listen to it too because it was her damn fault I had to contact this guy in the first place, he worked for us 2 weeks when he decided we didn't keep our equipment in the best repair. He had to work on Labor Day, and was told he would also receive holiday pay, but didn't. (Note - he hadn't been working for us a full 30 days yet, and so was not actually eligible for holiday pay). He refused to drive a truck that had expired safety tags (no idea what that means). He asked to be given a different truck with current tags, and apparently there weren't any. His supervisor told him if that was the case, he should go home. The employee asked if he would be called to come in the next day. Said supervisor told him that all the vehicles would be in the very same condition the next day as they were currently. So, the employee stayed home for a week. He is suing us for one week's wages he was "cheated" out of. He bemoans the fact that he gave us the benefit of the doubt and gave 2 weeks notice, and he was not given the benefit of the doubt. I'm no scholar, but if you give 2 weeks notice, what is there to doubt? What were we doubting that he would need the benefit of?

To make matters worse, after this guy droned on for about 5 minutes with no end in sight, I stopped the message so I could forward it to my boss. I'm sure he has the situation under control already, and I was actually thinking this message could be "exhibit 1" when we go to court in January. It turns out you can't just forward a message, you can only do it at it has run all the way through. So, I had to START OVER. No fast forward.

Here's the beauty of it. He finally comes around after 10 minutes to answering the question of the open payroll check. He says that he remembers something about a $10 bonus check, (which is, of course, the check I am referring to) but doesn't say squat about whether he cashed it or still has it. He says that can't possibly be the check I'm asking about. I can rest assured though, that every other paycheck has been cashed. I actually know that already. Otherwise I would have mentioned them the first time I called.

He works a later shift now, so if I want to get a hold of him, I should call between 9:30 pm and 5:00 am. Right.

I am sure there are those of you who will play devil's advocate and that's OK. We might be at fault in every sense in this case and that's OK too. If we are, we will be paying this man what the court decides is his due and you won't hear a complaint out of me. But for the love of Jeebus, what did any of that have to do with whether or not he has an old paycheck or not! What grinds me is the idea that I might have to call this jackass again to clarify does he have it or not. He said he had filed a lawsuit and it didn't make any sense to him that I was calling about an uncashed check. Does he think I'm trying to trick him? Does he think the entire planet gives a crap about his problems, and that every other function hinges around his lawsuit? Does he not pay his electric bill because of his lawsuit? I am going to guess that there are more than a few people out there who feel the same way about this fellow I do. The bank teller, the grocery check out person, the poor random soul at the Christmas party who says "how's it going?".

Please sir, do not mistake my poor attitude here for a lack of caring. I care. However, I'm just trying to do my job and you are making this simple process one hundred times harder than it needs to be.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Dear Santa,

I want a neck massager for Christmas. Not one of those "personal massagers" aka "dildos" that are advertised on TV (do they really think they're fooling us?).

This would work:

The Cervical Massage System, CMS-300, is the culmination of years of research and development which has lead to this extraordinary system that emulates techniques used by massage and chiropractic professionals.Human Touch Technology® starts with a multi-patent mechanism that works like human hands. The flexible nodes move three-dimensionally to approximate the human touchCervical Massage System cms-300 Neck Massager Features and Benefits
Rest your neck in the soothing "hands" of Human Touch Technology (HTT). HTT emulates techniques used by chiropractors, massage therapists and physical therapists.
Massage your cervical region to reduce neck pain caused by stress and tension developed in the muscles that run from the back of the head across the back of the shoulder (trapezius muscle).
The "hands" consist of 2, three-dimensionally moving flexible nodes that approximate the feel of human hands.
A simple handheld controller allows you to lay on your back and control the massage functions. 3 Cycle Rates.
The foam pillow supports your head during your massage.
A removable outer cover allows you to clean the CMS-300 Neck Massager *
Manufacturer One Year Warranty




Friday, December 08, 2006

Well, I turned 31 on Monday. I don't feel any older. My husband and the kids took me out to Chinese food after work and we had a lovely time. New baby managed to flirt with a table full of teenage boys. What a bunch of softies they were! It was cute. New baby ate a won ton and some of the baby's crackers. He tried some chicken and after chewing for about 30 minutes, he threw up into his tea cup. Yum. We had a wonderful dinner out at a steakhouse with my parents and our friends last Saturday night. It was so good to see everybody!

Tomorrow we are having new baby's 1st birthday party. I have no idea how many people are going to be there, and I have no idea what I'm going to feed them. Oh well! We'll have cake, and my older sister is bringing her fabulous broccoli salad. I should probably find something in between the two extremes.

I have been feeling rather poorly this week. I had a massive headache starting in the middle of the night Tuesday night. Wednesday I left early from work, and I ended up taking Thursday off too. I was hoping to get a little bit if housework done, but I have been experiencing some difficulty getting motivated. I cleaned the boy's room spic and span, and I couldn't even muster up any pride in a job well done. Normally once I get going I am unstoppable, but I really could have cared less. I have a lot of housework to miraculously accomplish between now and 3:00 tomorrow afternoon. Luckily, my husband makes a good cleaning partner. Hopefully I can get it all done tonight, and sleep in tomorrow morning. Wish me luck!

Friday, December 01, 2006

I can't believe it's Friday already!

I am looking forward to this weekend and going out for dinner to the Hungry Hunter tomorrow night. We are celebrating my birthday a couple of days early. Prime Rib, here I come! My parents are having dinner with us too - my dad's birthday was on Wednesday. It will be so great to see our friends - it seems I only see them on special occasions anymore. So Sad!

I hope we can pick up a Christmas tree this weekend too. It seems to be an annual tradition on my birthday. We might need to make it a tradition for new baby though, so he won't feel too left out having his birthday so close to Christmas. He has 4 teeth now, and is starting to crawl up off his tummy instead of the "army crawl". My guess is that the floor is starting to get too cold. He is almost busting out of his 18 month clothing. I hope that old baby's clothes that I boxed up are weather appropriate. Otherwise, he is going to be one cold little dude!

New baby has practically weaned himself off his bottle. He had 2 bowls full of stew last night. Granted, half of that ended up on the floor, walls and ceiling but still! He is an eating machine! He will eat anything you put in front of him. He was so cute at Thanksgiving - he must have had 4 helpings of turkey, potatoes, stuffing and cranberry sauce. I had to give him a bath after dinner and spray down the mat under his chair outside with the hose.

Our picture taking session at the Mall last Friday went very well. I was so glad that old baby behaved (for the most part) and we ended up with some lovely photos for Christmas. It's so nice to have all of our Christmas shopping done at one time, and for less than $100! Of course, I wish we could afford to buy gifts for everyone, but we can't do that without ringing up the credit card. We try and make sure our home-made gifts are from the heart and I think they are appreciated. My younger sister works at Michael's Crafts and has an endless supply of crafty ideas. I just have to make the time!

Have a good weekend all!