Borderline Retarded

Monday, April 30, 2007

Do I have to shave my legs?

I am riding in the Tour de Cure on Sunday. It's a 10 mile bike ride in Yountville and helps raise money for diabetes research. This will be my 4th year riding in the Tour, and once again, I have neglected to even look at my bicycle since last year's ride! My butt is going to be so mad at me!! I am riding with my sister in law and her team "The Coffee Clutchers". Here's a picture of me from 2 years ago:

I was early on in my pregnancy with new baby. I always think of that whenever I want to wuss out.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Ding Dong, PMS Calling!

As I was busy munching on my 5th chocolate chip cookie last night, it dawned on me that I might be feeling a bit cranky because of PMS. I have gone my entire life without any real troubles in that area. Then, I turned 30 and my body just went to hell. I get bloated, crampy and very snippy. Of course, snippy on me is barely discernible from my normal jolly self, so nobody ever notices. Except for my poor dear old husband. That poor man has to put up with so much!
I'm still in my new role as housekeeper. I have really enjoyed having a clean house and 6 days is truly a record for me. I did not sit down at all last night however, until it was time to eat dinner. I figure that's just the way it goes. It's good for me to be up and running anyway, it's healthy. I hadn't noticed, but I have been grunting a lot lately getting up from the couch. The last time I did that was when I was pregnant, and had every right in the world to make as many grunty noises as necessary. My husband looked at me and said "are you all right?" You've been making those noises for almost a week now." I stopped for a second, and said "Well, actually, my back hurts, my feet hurt and I am completely exhausted". I bit my tongue though from saying "I am so sorry my fatigue and pain are so annoying to you!!" I was absolutely shocked at myself for even thinking that thought. I am kind of known for being a sarcastic ass, but that came dangerously close to being bitchy. I guess it's a finer line than I ever realized.
I don't think anyone, least of all my husband, would ever accuse me of being like my mother. She is a very bitter negative sort of person, and I never have understood her. Until I got married and had a child. I started to see some reasons why she might be that way, and it truly sucked to realize that I actually played a huge part in her being the way she was. I always wanted to chalk it up to her personality, but truth be told, my sisters, dad and I broke her. I saw some little parts of me headed that direction after old baby was about 10 months old. I would do things like lose my mind when I saw an empty toilet paper roll. I would sit there and just seethe in anger at the thoughtlessness of it all. That's when I looked in the mirror and saw my mother looking back at me. I think she mouthed the words "I told you so", but I'm not too sure. I took some major introspective time to analyze these alien feelings I was having. I started to have conversations with my husband in my head before actually having them out loud, and I was able to resolve a lot. One of the things I learned was to say "how do I know I wasn't the one who did that". That would usually stop me dead and then the sun would come out from behind the clouds. I realized that I needed to focus on what was truly important to us as a family, and not confuse the issues.
Here's to working on being Sarcastra, not Bitch Goddess!!

Monday, April 23, 2007

We had an appraiser out on Thursday to check out the house. I was up until 1:30 Wednesday night cleaning. I was very happy with the results. I know the house doesn't have to be sparkling for an appraisal, but I decided the time had come for spring cleaning.

When I worked part time, before new baby was born, I was able to clean the house on Wednesday mornings, and again on the weekend. Well, somewhere after going back to work full time and having a second kid, I lost some housecleaning time. I have never been the most organized or tidy person and it takes a lot of work for me to stay on top of things. I have resolved to make sure the house is orderly every day, and make sure to clean it thoroughly twice a week. I kind of liked having shiny counter tops and floors!

We'll see how long I can keep it going. I am going to try very hard, but I always seem to fall back into my old habits. It's pretty sad when a 3 year old notices the difference after you clean. The truth is, I have so many projects to complete this summer both indoors and out that I have to keep the house clean on a daily basis, otherwise I will always be behind. My Grandma Littman (God bless her) endorsed the idea of hiring Merry Maids to help out around the house. This is from a woman who took care of a house full of six kids while her husband was away 6 months out of the year in the military. Somehow, my life doesn't seem so bad compared to that! Besides, who needs to hire help when I have my own built in "Merry Maids" at home? Old baby is wicked good at wielding a mop and my poor sweet husband is kind enough to just do what I tell him to. I think if I attach mop heads to new baby's knees, he can start pulling his weight around the house too.

Monday, April 16, 2007

This is actually a week old already!!!

This past weekend was just not long enough! I had such a hard time getting out of bed this morning, and I have been tired all day. I think I'm hitting my second wind though.

Saturday, my parents watched the boys so I could try and clean out my garage. The poor garage has basically been my place to dump anything I didn't have time to deal with, starting with day one of moving into this house three years ago!

My plan was to go "Clean Sweep" style, and remove everything out to the driveway, clean the garage, then go through and organize stuff as I put it back into the garage. Of course, Mother Nature had other plans and it rained all day. I must have stood in the garage staring at it for a good half hour trying to decide where to start. I didn't have much room to manouver, so I started with grabbing the things I knew needed to be thrown away. My husband helped me take the seats out of the van so I could fill it up with trash for the dump.

Our clothes dryer has also decided it doesn't want to work anymore, so I had to clear that space out first in case we could get a repairman out. Hahahahaha!! Same day service, good one Robyn!! The earliest anyone can come out is next Saturday. Lucky for us, we still have the old stacking washer and dryer from our last apartment. We don't have a coin-op nearby and going a full week without being able to wash and dry the kids clothes is not a good thing. Old baby is still potty training, and has quite a few accidents. The shower rod in the bathroom is full enough as it is drying my shirts that can't go in the dryer.

I was able to fill the van up with a good load, and I headed out to the dump. Ahhhh, the smell of wet rotting garbage really is something nobody should miss!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

We met with a mortgage broker today to refinance our home loan. Eeek! When did we get to be so grown up?

Monday, April 09, 2007

The bachelorette party was fabulous! I had the best time. I even wore heels! We were all wearing heels though, so I wasn't the only one teeter-tottering around.

The first dish was goat cheese balls, breaded and fried and served on salad greens. They were so rich, and tasted much like pumpkin pie, and was served in a dog food bowl.

The second dish was cream of asparagus soup. It was served in a highball glass. We took pictures and people are bound to wonder what the heck kind of cocktail we ordered that you would need a spoon for!

The third dish was salmon served on Okinawan potatoes (purple!) with carrots. I have only had fish twice in my life, and it's not my favorite. But I ate most of it and it was very good.

The fourth dish was lamb chop served on spanish rice and tomatoes. It was very spicy, and very delicious.

The fifth dish was a strawberry rhubarb tart with a dollop of ice cream melting in the middle. Drool.

We all had cocktails as soon as we got inside, me with my old favorite Captain Morgan and Coke. After that, the champagne was flowing. Champagne really is one of my favorite beverages!

The beds that we were on for dinner were so comfortable. It was so decadent, everyone should eat this way! I kind of felt like Emperor Ceaser "wash this!", but I didn't worry about my fat ass as long as I didnt' knock anything over. I very nearly bumped into the DJ's table as we were leaving. God - how embarrasing would that have been!

I got to share a room with my good friend Wren - is was so good to cathc up with her! I really had a wonderful tiem and I can't wait to take my sisters and a few other friends to check this place out.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I am headed out to a bachelorette party in San Francisco. This is where we are headed for dinner: supper club

The buzz words for the evening are "classy" and "dress to impress". I will strive to do both those things, and not my usual sarcastic jackass stand-up comic routine that I normally do whenever I am a little bit outside my comfort zone.

After a 5 course meal and some sure to be awesome music, we are going to stay the night at the Argent Hotel. Our bachelorette says it has 5 stars. Swanky! We are going to treat ourselves tonight! I feel like I already have, with a manicure, pedicure and a new blouse and shoes, makeup and even wearing jewelry!

I hope someone takes a picture, because it's bound to be a long time until I'm this dressed up again!

Friday, April 06, 2007

They're back

stupid raccoons!

You say tomato, I say shitty

I was loading the two kids into the car yesterday when old baby piped up.
"It's shitty outside".
I popped my head up from new baby and his car seat buckles to say "what was that"?
"It's shitty outside mommy".
I looked at him closely and asked him to repeat himself one more time to make sure I'd heard what I thought I heard.
He repeated "It's shitty outside" with this strange little grimace he gets when he's pretty sure he is in trouble for something.
"Honey, who taught you that word"? No answer.
"Honey, who taught you that word?" Nothing.
"Who taught you that word 'shitty'"?
Finally, I realized he was saying "chilly". "Mommy, it's chilly outside".
Of course, now mommy is the one who taught him the word "shitty".
Great, Can't wait for Easter Sunday with the family!

Thursday, April 05, 2007

As it turns out, Betty either misunderstood completely what Maria's new job description and title are, or our boss decided to purposefully mislead her with false information. It might not be as black and white as that, but that is how I've decided to describe the situation. Nobody else was included in their metting, so we'll never know for sure, but my money is on the fact that Betty misunderstood and then blew everything out of proportion and turned into a right cheeky asshole.

She did come in a few hours after the first incident to apologize, but when I asked her what was going on, she snapped at me again! "You know, Robyn. You already know what's going on!" and stalked out of the room again. Some apology.

I had already called Maria to let her know something was afoot, and she told me she had finally been given the go-ahead to let everyone know her new position. Over the phone, she told me "I am the new Employee Relations Manager." Good for her! We've been needing one of those for years. Now, someone please tell me why that gives Betty the right to run around here on her broomstick wishing a pox on us all? I think when she glared at my sister when she said "good morning" to her, that really blew my gaskets. Nobody messes with my kid sister!! There is nothing in Maria's job that even deals with what Betty is doing. Basically, she was "HR Manager", and by her own testament she doesn't do any HR, just benefits. Her new title is Benefits Administrator. It is a title for what she actually does! There was nothing about this situation that made sense to me.

Maria made it into the office, and talked to me for a couple of minutes, then marched into Betty's office to find out what the deal was. Maria was in there for more than an hour, and they had a good talk. Luckily, our second in command for the company sent out an e-mail with the changes, as well as Maria's job description. Betty said "I feel better now that I've read that". Well good for friggin you. Maybe this will teach you to not treat your co-workers so poorly next time.

She has been sweet as pie the last three days. Maria commented on it, and all I had to say was "She damn well better be!" I am slow to anger, and apparently just as slow to come back down. It would have helped if her second apology after her meeting with Maria had been the least bit believable. I'm telling you, I am having a really hard time making eye contact with her or even giving a rat's patootie about her. I have had to force a smile onto my face this whole time.

Just ridiculous!

Monday, April 02, 2007

It's going to be a long friggin day.

Our boss wanted to meet with Betty on Friday afternoon at 2:00. I had to take old baby to the dentist, so I wasn't here.

First thing this morning, Betty comes in to say good morning. I ask her how it's going, and she snaps "what do you think" and walks out.

I'm guessing the meeting on Friday didn't go too well, but I have no idea what's going on. As usual! This company is really bad about keeping people informed.