Borderline Retarded

Friday, June 24, 2005

Funny story.....

I just had the best lunch with two of my co-workers. We were exchanging funny stories about our men, and I remembered this one about KOM:

It was a dark and sultry night.... just kidding! It was a regular night, and we drove down the street to the closest bar for a few drinks with one of our friends. I drove my car, and KOM arrived with our friend. This place is called the Riverside Lounge. It's not so scary that you worry about catching a disease from the toilet seat, but not far off. It's main attraction is that it was right down the street!
When I pulled up in the parking lot, I parked right in front of the entrance. Something caught my eye from inside, and I said to myself "Is that woman wearing nothing but underwear?" I figured I was just seeing things, it was probably a short skirt. I walked inside and to the bar to order a drink. Suddenly, this young woman walked up to me wearing nothing but a sheer negligee. I mean, nothing but a sheer top, bikini underwear, garters and stockings and heels. She was all white and lacy. "Do you want to buy a raffle ticket?" she asks politely. I say "What are the tickets for?" She runs her hand down the length of her body and says "This!". Several thoughts went through my mind, mainly, was she going to wash those things before she gave them away? Apparently, she raffles off one piece at a time, but not from what she's actually wearing. She has unused ones to give out. I say "No, thanks!" and she walks off.
I notice after I sit down at the table with KOM and our friend that everyone in the bar is extremely well behaved. There were no other women in the place, and all the men were being on their best behavior. She sold a lot of raffle tickets! I thought the whole thing was very amusing. Apparently Tuesday nights at the Riverside Lounge were always Lingerie Night. We had no idea!
While I'm thinking this is pretty cool, KOM and his friend are getting all fidgety, and decide I need to hurry up and drink so we can leave. While I'm finishing up, the nice lady came by our table to offer raffle tickets to the boys, They stammer and blush, and she wisely walks away.
As we are leaving the bar, I say "Well, she had very nice nipples". KOM says, "You could see her nipples?" I said, "Duh, didn't you see them, they were right there!!" He says, "No, I didn't look!" I think my response was, "Dumbass!" At first I didn't believe that he didn't look, but he seemed so genuinely bummed that he missed them, I had to believe him. I made fun of him mercilessly for ages after that! But part of me was very proud of him!

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