Borderline Retarded

Monday, June 20, 2005

The one about the bear....

I was looking at the tiger skin photo from Porter SR's blog, and I remembered a story from our honeymoon.

We went to Yosemite for 5 days after we got married. It was wonderful. We were there at the end of September, and everything was winding down. We stayed in Camp Curry in a cabin. The only bad thing was that there were no "facilities" in our cabin, you had to walk down to the gang showers a few rows down. KOM and I would hang out at the bar until it closed about 10:00, then head back to our cabin. I hit the ladies room on the way back, and KOM went ahead to our cabin. I left the bathroom and walked down the the end of the row to head back home, and I looked up as I rounded the corner. There less than 100 feet away from me was a brown bear. My heart stopped, and I tried to remember what you were supposed to do in case you came face to face with a bear. I'm pretty sure running away at top speed was not the correct way to go - but it's exactly what I did! Luckily, as soon as the bear saw me, it turned tight around and lumbered off in the opposite direction. It was headed back towards the food area we had just left. So, I'm running as fast as I can mumbling "bear" under my breath, when I practically fall on top of KOM, who is sitting in the doorway of the cabin smoking a cigarrette. He casually asks - "Did you see the bear?" I yelled somehting like "Get the fuck out of my way!". I think I left track marks on his forhead as I lept over him and peeked out through the window. We can hear small groups of screams here and there, getting further away, so we figure we're all right. KOM looks at me and says, "It was kind of small." I think I must have knocked his ass out for the rest of the night. Of course every single noise I heard that night was a bear, so I didn't sleep really well.

The next day we went to one of the museums at Yosemite, and there was a stuffed brown bear on exhibit. Again, my husband says - "I really thought they would be bigger". I just rolled my eyes and walked off. KOM bought me a Camp Curry souvenir, with a brown bear on it. I love that souvenir!


  • That was really funny!

    We visited King's Canyon and stayed in log cabins too. But these had attached toilets :P.

    For dinner, we had to walk some ways through the woods to get to the restaurants. I was petrified because there were bear attacks just a couple of days before. A car was mauled up in the parking lot.

    The waiters at the restaurants would ask us tourists, "So, did you see the bears?"

    By Blogger Passerby A, at 7:45 PM  

  • I live in a heavily populated bear area, but I have yet to see one. they say they stay away from humans for the most part. You're supposed to make yourself look big or something. Hmmm...maybe I should learn if that's right before we go hiking again. My landlord said when the crabapple trees in our yard make fruit, the bears will come across the river and two streets into town and eat them. I keep having nightmares where I wal out into my yard and I'm standing between a mom and a cub--yikes...

    By Blogger imagoner, at 7:49 AM  

  • What's that Mitch Hedberg joke about Smokey The Bear?

    Something about him being ALOT more INTENSE in person.

    LOL That's funny. Great story.

    By Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0, at 8:35 AM  

  • LOL! When you said what should you do when you see a bear, I was about to say "run like hell," but you said it for me. Hahahaha!! That was a great story! I would have beat KOM up too. A small bear? There's no such thing. ;p

    By Blogger Reese The Law Girl, at 12:06 PM  

  • The bad thing is that while you're standing in line to check in to your room, they show the same 10 minute reel over and over again showing bears ripping open cars like soda cans and basically tearing everything to pieces. Not once do they tell you what to do if you actually come face to face with one. I guess they figure it will turn tail and run like mine did. When KOM and I got to our cabin, we said "This door isn't going to keep out a bear!!"

    By Blogger Robyn, at 2:46 PM  

  • I think you're right when you say that running isn't the recommended way to go. It triggers their "chase" response. Then again, standing where you are triggers their "chew and swallow" response so.....pick your poison I guess.

    By Blogger Jason, at 5:38 PM  

  • geez, and people go on about snakes here in Australia - i'd be more worried about bears! At least we don't have something you can't possibly kill by yourself without a gun...

    By Blogger Squishi, at 4:16 PM  

  • Or a #10 cast iron frying pan.... but that's a story for another time!

    By Blogger Robyn, at 9:30 AM  

  • Oh, my, I'm sure that was scary, but I had to laugh! Talk about a memorable honeymoon!

    The worst I've ever had to deal with on a camping trip is wild ponies.

    By Blogger PSUMommy, at 9:57 AM  

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