Borderline Retarded

Monday, June 20, 2005

Borderline Retarded.....the history

Happy Monday. I am again at work, and farting around on the computer instead. My boss just told me he is leaving for the rest of the day - cool!

CAUTION - this post is extremely long......

KOM brought me to tears this morning with his lovely post about me - what a sweet heart! It's so nice to know that I am loved and respected by the man of my dreams even after all these years. As to why I went "slumming", I bet you can guys can guess why. The man is friggin hilarious!! Also, the most intelligent person I've ever met.

I think KOM and I "met" a few times before actually meeting as adults. He was playing in a band at my friend A's Halloween party in High School - probably tenth grade or so. I don't remember talking to him at all. Besides, I was not a happy camper that night. My mom was going to make me a Cleopatra costume, and she put it off until the night of the party. As I was getting ready, she came to me and said, "Sorry, I didn't get a chance to make your costume". I was crushed as only a 14 year old girl can be. Luckily, I had a box of old costumes to go through, and I dressed as a clown instead. Ths saddest clown ever!!

Flash forward about three years. We are just out of high school - I think it was Thanksgiving weekend. My parents and younger sister were at Cal Poly to spend the holiday with my older sister and I had the house to myself. Well, being the good girl that I am, I didn't have much planned. My boyfriend had just freshly broken up with me, and I was sitting around watching TV when there came a knocking at the door. I open the door to find at least 6 strapping lads standing on my doorstep. All a flutter, I say, "Uh, Hi." Their representative says, "We're friends of Jen W. She said we could come over." "OK", I say. "Come on in." They all flopped into the living room, and we commenced to have the most uncomfortable half hour of my life. I think I heard crickets chirping. KOM was there, but I didn't recognize him. I did recognize a few of his friends from Middle School. I was wondering how many other people were going to randomly show up at my door for a party my best friend decided to throw at my house. And I didn't even think to offer up the liquor in the pantry - but I was thoroughly cleaned out of leftovers by the end of the night. We hot boxed the bathroom and had a grand old time. I, of course, never got high (seriously).

Flash forward 2 more years. I had just moved in with my Grandfather, who was not able to live on his own anymore. I had been living in Hawaii with my family for about 9 months, and moved back in February of 1997 (My dad worked at Pearl Harbor). My good friend Kelley was now living in her own place with a couple of roommates. She had gone to the other high school in town, so when I showed up at her place, it was filled to the brim with people I didn't know. For me, that was kind of a blessing, as I was very shy, and did not like to run into people I went to school with. That would be the first time I would say I actually met KOM. I was smitten with that man from then forward. The very next time I made it into town to hang out, I was looking for him to show up. I was with Jen W, and another guy, and he came up to our table at the pub. His first words were "who's going to buy me a drink!". I laughed and said of course I would buy him a drink. Little did I know he could drink an entire pitcher of beer on his own! At some point we realized the the "subversive" party he and his friends kept referring to was the one thrown at my house a couple of years before.

KOM was fresh off the boat from his trip to Europe, as you might have read in his blog, and full of great stories. His relationship with his friends was amazing, they were the greatest group of guys I have ever met. He has been friends with some of them since elementary school. The way they play off each other leaves your sides splitting. It understandable why I loved to be around them so much, and hated to be around my boyfriend, the same one I'd been with since High School, who seemed like an anchor around my neck. We were having so many problems, and I didn't know what to do. Somehow, I was trying to break up with him without hurting his feelings. Staying out all night was difiicult, and I wasn't able to visit town very often, because I was taking care of my grandfather. My sister would fill in for me, and I took every opportunity to hang out wherever KOM was going to be. I remember one night after the bar closed, we headed over to KOM's crap ass apartment. I was all worried, because we hadn't been invited over. Jen W. was like, "Whatever, you don't have to be invited over like it's Sunday dinner. It's OK". I didn't think it was OK - but I went along anyway. We trooped up the rickety stairs. The three other girls walked in before me, and just as I step over the threshold, KOM looks up from rolling his joint and says "FUCK! Where are all you people coming from?" I immediately turned bright red and ran back out. I hung out on the porch the rest of the night. I was so embarrassed!

I spent all summer with nights like these, (not quite so embarrased!) and by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was desperately wishing I could be free to pursue a relationship with KOM. Firstly, I never dreamed that he would be interested in me more than just friendship wise. That of course was my inexperience in the dating pool coming through. I remember the night I went out after my boyfriend broke up with me again (this time because he was upset I went to the mall with him just wearing jeans and a T-shirt: he didn't think he should be seen with someone with so little fashion sense.) I was feeling great, and went out on the town with Kelley and her roommate Jill. We went to the local bar without the sticky floors, and KOM as well as a couple of other friends were there. it was perfect, because it was just a few of us, and not the teeming throng it usually was. I remember telling KOM that my boyfriend and I had broken up, and he said he was sorry, he knew how bad those things could be. I was at peace with it though. The night was inevitably ruined though because of Kelley's roommate, who was acting like a rhino in heat. I went up to the bar and as I was waiting for my drink, another guy friend came over and started asking about the photography class I was taking at the JC. I had known this guy forever, and didn't think talking to him was such a bigh deal, but then I caught the red glare of Jill's eyes boring into me, and I realized that I was talking to the guy she had her sights set on, and she was pissed. I mean, I thought she was going to run over and mark her territory, then run me down! She stomped out of the bar, and Kelley went running after, then I went running after, because Jill was my ride. I thought she was acting very bizarre, and I had to keep from laughing at her. But, I always wondered what KOM and I would have talked about if we had been left to our own devices.

My story picks up again a few weeks later. I had gotten back together with my boyfriend, for several reasons. One, he was calling me constantly and crying on the phone. Two, my grandfather was going downhill fast, and I had no one to help me other than my sister, who could only come every now and again, and only at night. I didn't have the energy to keep fielding these phone calls from my ex, so I took him back so he would leave me alone. Terrible, I know, but I didn't know what else to do. My parents and sister had flown in from Hawaii to visit with Grandpa, because they weren't sure he would make it to Christmas. Talk about stress! Kelley was going to throw an early Christmas party. I was able to plan with my sister to spend the night so I could go out. Boy, was I looking forward to it. I went out and bought a new red dress - all shimmery and sparkly, very festive. I was all a twitter by the time I got to Kelley's, and I could not wait to see KOM. Something inside me had just exploded, and I was on the hunt. I decided I knew what I wanted, and I was going to get it. Very forward for me!! I had come to the realization that life was short, and I was very unhappy. I was going to talk to KOM, and let it all out. I had stayed awake many nights thinking about him, and wondering if he felt the same way about me. I don't know where I got the courage, but I made sure that I was with KOM all night, and that it was me who was going to drive him home. My master plan was finally laid into motion, and at about 3:00 am we hit the road back to his place. We chatted, and by the time we reached his street, I knew I had to say something or I might never have the courage again. I told him that I like him very much, and I wished that things were different because I wanted to get to know him better. KOM had the car door open with one leg out as I said this. He looked at me and said something like, "I wish things were different too." He swung his leg back in the car, and shut the door. "We'd better keep on driving", he said.

We drove around for a little while, then went back to his place. I can't even recall the details of our conversation, but we were definitely into each other. I was just amazed that he liked someone like me. I never really thought it would go anywhere, but would be just a crush. At one point I looked at KOM, whose hands were shaking. I said, "are you OK?" and he said, "I really want to kiss you". I was in awe - because no one had ever wanted to kiss me before. I just leaned in, and we kissed. It was great. He undressed me, and told me I looked like Venus coming out of the shell. We made love, and held each other until the sun came up. I hated to leave him that morning - I actually had a final at 8:00 am to get to. On the way home, I listened to a tape which I still have to this day. I always think of him when I listen to it now. That afternoon, I called my boyfrined, and we talked it over, and I told him I couldn't be with him anymore. He understood, and actually agreed with me. I wish for KOM's sake that I had that conversation with him 24 hours earlier, because he always feels badly, like we cheated. I never have known how to explain to him that he doesn't need to worry.

That is the story of how KOM and I first got started in this life together. We have been together for almost 8 years. I have loved getting to know him - it hasn't always been easy. He can be very complex. But well worth the effort. I will always be proud to be his woman, and the mother of his children. He is the most intelliginet and thoughtful man I have ever met. He respects his mother and father, and loves his family. He makes me feel like the most beautiful and precious woman on earth.

All right - enough with the sappy!


  • Is that how it happened? I was pretty sure that you just hit me over the head with a club and dragged me around for a few years.

    By Blogger KOM, at 1:25 PM  

  • Hahahaha!!!

    Your picture looks like you've been clubbed a few too many times!!

    I guess it's time for the rebuttal on your blog.

    By Blogger Robyn, at 1:52 PM  

  • awwwwwwwe! What a lovely story! Makes me wanna go into mine and Pops, but no, not's wayyyyyyyyy too long.

    By Blogger imagoner, at 2:51 PM  

  • You should write romance novels.
    That's sweet. Really.

    By Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0, at 6:36 AM  

  • it was actually very sweet =) who knew Kommie was a romantic =)

    By Blogger Lisa, at 11:07 AM  

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