Borderline Retarded

Wednesday, March 22, 2006


The family and I trekked out to my sister's house in Riverbank last weekend to have a "snow day". We had been planning it for almost a month, and the weather worked very well in our favor. There was a generous snowfall in the week before we headed up towards Sonora, and it truly was a "winter wonderland".

We left for the mountains at about 9:00 in the morning, and it was decided at the last minute that I would be driving. I've never driven in the snow before, and there is nothing more humbling than slipping and sliding around the road driving a minvan filled with your loved ones! I was glad we made it without incident.

Old baby seemd genuinely excited to see snow everywhere, but he looked like he was about to fall asleep after driving for two hours. I also had to pee like a race horse by the time we got there. I had already announced to the entire car that I was taking off as soon as the engine stopped to find the bathroom. My sister went with me. There were only outhouses, but it seems to me they smell so much better in the freezing cold! I hadn't even stopped to put on my jacket. I was trying to hurry without slipping and falling on my ass. I knew if I fell, that would be it! I wouldn't be able to get up without wetting myself! Unfortunately, I hadn't accounted for the toilet seat to be sopping wet. I had told my poor bladder we were almost there, then I had to stop and wipe up the seat. My bladder was not happy with me! That was the longest most satisfying piss I have ever taken in my life.

We made it back to the car and bundled everyone up. I didn't have a snow jacket per se, I just wore my rain coat. Next time I go to the snow, I will at least wear a sweatshirt underneath! I carried the baby in the front carrier covered in blankets. He had on a wee little snow hat that covered his ears. It was so cute! What I thought was so bizarre is that after we paid, they made the baby get his hand stamped. WTF? Are random babies sneaking into the snow park without paying really a problem? Whatever. At least they stamped his arm so he wouldn't be sucking on the ink!

We head out to the slopes and everyone starts to set up chairs and blankets. We are there all of five minutes when I, being the graceful cow that I am, lost my footing. My foot sank into the snow and my ankle twisted. Somehow I managed to fall backwards onto my ass, and not forwards onto the baby. The weight of the diaper bag did the rest of the damage and I was flat on my back. I couldn't even sit up, and my ankle was killing me. I made both my boys start crying, so I tried as hard as I could not to cry myself, although the pain was terrible. Everyone helped me up, and I hobbled over to one of the seats. God! How embarrasing! A guy I knew in High School called me an Oaf once, and I have to admit he was absolutely right!

Watching the kids play in the snow was so much fun! Old baby really loved it. He was so angry when it was time to go. I had to carry his screaming squirmy little body all the way back to the car, saying to him every three steps "are you sure you can't walk?". I also had the pleasure of trying to take off his wet clothes and put dry ones on. It was snowing at this point, and it seemed like his dry clothes would be soaked by the time I got him dressed! Finally, he was all dressed and buckled in. I made sure to tell him I loved him, and gave him a couple of kisses. It's always so hard to remember to do that after you've been fighting tooth and nail! He was asleep almost before we made it out of the parking lot.

I hope we can go to this snow park again next year. I have never gotten over my fascination with the snow. I wouldn't like to live in it, but it sure is fun to play in!


  • i've seen snow once, on a trip to Tasmania. (Hint: don't EVER holiday in July in Tasmania (mid-winter here) even if it IS cheap).

    They have snow.

    They can keep it.

    Give me sunshine and sand anyday :)

    By Blogger Squishi, at 1:47 AM  

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