Borderline Retarded

Thursday, December 01, 2005

My GIGANTIC Baby........

I have been so busy over the past two weeks - it has been a while since I wrote a post.

On Saturday the 19th, my husband and I went to Kaiser for a tour of the labor and delivery department. We have never been Kaiser members before, so I was glad to get a look at the the place. They tricked us though, and threw in an hour long class on the signs and stages of labor. I almost didn't make it through without drooling on myself. The instructor was very nice - but a little bit dry. And she spoke in this very quiet, breathy voice. At one point, she was talking about "kick counts" and how to properly keep track of them. She was saying how some women didn't slow down long enough to pay attention to their baby's movements. She actually said that a woman probably wouldn't keep track because she was so busy washing the dishes and watching soap operas. Washing dishes and watching soap operas? I was instantly transported back to 1950 and imagined myself pregnant and wearing a gigantic smock, high heels and a pearl necklace and going to the beauty parlor every 3 days to get my hair "done". I looked at my husband expecting him to have noticed how stupid I thought that comment was, but he also was fighting the drool battle.

Thanksgiving was very nice. We went to my in-laws for dinner, and it was delicious. We didn't even have to bring anything, but my hubby whipped up a batch of deviled eggs. All in all a wonderful evening.

On Friday, I cleaned the bathroom. Spotless. A thing of beauty. For about 5 minutes!! I was very proud of myself and didn't really do much other housework the rest of the weekend.

On Sunday, I got to open an early birthday present. My husband bought me a Dyson vacuum cleaner. He even vacuumed for me! I haven't tried it yet, but he was very pleased with it. I have been going on and on about these vacuum cleaners for so long. So, thank you for the birthday gift honey - I love it!

We also attempted to give the boy a haircut. It did not quite go as planned. After he started crying hard enough to vomit on himself, we pretty much decided his hair was as short as it needed to be! It gets more difficult as he gets older to cut his hair. When he was a little guy, all you had to do was plop in a Baby Einstein and he was good. I don't know what to do about it.

On Monday, I started training my replacement for payroll. Thank God for Maria - she is wonderful to step in and help out while I'm on maternity leave. I am especially glad that she agreed to do it because I trust her so much. She and I have worked wonderfully together the past year as she trained me how to figure the Federal Excise Taxes. By the end of Wednesday though - I could tell her brain had reached saturation point! Luckily, she will feel comfortable calling me with any problems, and our payroll service is the absolute best.

Ok - here we go - BABY UPDATE!! BABY UPDATE!!

I saw my doctor on Monday. He did an ultrasound and ran a few measurements. My kid weighs 7 pounds, 7 oz.

7 pounds, 7 oz.


I still have just over 4 weeks to my due date.

That means this baby could weigh 12 pounds by December 30th.

Holy cow.

A planned c-section could be in my future if this kid gets much bigger. My doctor and I talked very seriously about it, and it is so difficult to draw a "line" so to speak, of how big should the baby be before I decide not to try and give birth the old fashioned way. My first baby was 9 1/2 pounds - and I don't remember having very much difficulty giving birth to him. I am confident saying that if this baby weighs 10 1/2 pounds, I'm going to give it the old college try. If the baby weighs more than that, I will ask my doctor to try and get some very precise measurements of the baby's head, shoulders and my birth canal to see if it would be possible. A large portion of me wants desperately to believe that Mother Nature would not give me a baby that would be too big for me to give birth to. All I can say is God bless modern medicine! Where would I be 100 years ago? Up shit creek without a paddle is where I'd be. It would be me drinking shots of whiskey and getting tied down to the kitchen table to birth this behemoth of a child!

I will try and not stress out too much, mostly because this baby has to born, bottom line, one way or another. I'm going to pray for a healthy baby, and leave it at that.


  • Wow! You are way braver than I am to contemplate birthing a 10/5 lb baby with such serenity. You have my deep admiration. (You had that already, but more now.) Glad to know that you are still doing well. We're hoping to meet that baby at our Christmas visit.
    From, your friend the English prof in Kentucky.

    By Blogger KYlitprof, at 12:58 PM  

  • The Dyson perfectly blends in with your dish washing and soap watching lifestyle.

    Unfortunately I can't afford pearls. Maybe I can fashion something out of the Boy's beads?

    By Blogger KOM, at 1:14 PM  

  • two things:

    My cousin had her 3rd boy today - 11lbs even. FIVE KILOS OF BABY. I hope and pray she doesn't go for a 4th...

    I have a Dyson. They're Australian! I love mine so much and it is such a pleasure to use that I clean my carpets TWICE every time. heheh. (tragic! this is from someone who lothed vacuuming!) That's quite a gift, you have a VERY awesome husband :)

    By Blogger Squishi, at 5:26 AM  

  • I want one of those Dysons SOOOOOOOOOOO bad. I just can bring myself to drop $400 on a vacuum when we only have three rooms with carpet. Oh well.

    Good luck with the giant baby!

    By Blogger This Girl I Used to Know, at 5:52 AM  

  • My hubby makes some awesome devilled eggs, too! Now if only he'd vacuum. Granted, we have a 5x7 foot carpet, so it takes all of 3 minutes, but still. But I'm definitely drooling over the Dyson!

    For the hair cutting- I highly recommend calling around to salons or barber shops. Lots of times they'll only charge $5 or $8 (around here, anyway) for a child's haircut and they are good. I've tried to cut my little girl's hair and it always ends in disaster. The boy child? He's getting a buzz cut starting next year. Me likey clippers.

    Wow, your baby is as big now as my first one was at birth! (Now, doesn't that make you feel better?) The human body is a truely amazing thing...I'll bet that you can give birth to a 12-pounder. I'm a firm believer that the body only makes a child big enough that it can get out (barring other complications, of course...)!

    By Blogger PSUMommy, at 6:09 PM  

  • Holy Moly!

    10 pounds? 12 pounds?

    I can't even comprehend.

    Happy Learning Your Baby is Going to be a Future NFL Hall of Famer that will Make You and KOM Rich, Rich, Rich Day! ;)

    By Blogger Reese The Law Girl, at 7:19 AM  

  • Take care Robyn!

    By Blogger Passerby A, at 11:55 PM  

  • Twelve pounds!?!?

    Lady...that's not a kid, that's a bowling ball!!

    MAYBE if Daddy sits and gets his haircut first...Little man will...LOL, who am I kiddin', like THAT'S gonna happen!

    By Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0, at 5:37 AM  

  • Just saying "hi"' to everyone on my blog list today!

    Hi R!

    By Blogger Jerk Of All Trades 2.0, at 9:25 AM  

  • Congratulations Robyn!

    By Blogger Passerby A, at 5:06 AM  

  • my daughter was 10 and 1/2 and I did the natural childbirth (well by that I mean vaginal with an epidural) frankly I think the thought of a c section is horrid and terribly unnecissary in most cases. I hope the best for you!

    By Blogger Kaci, at 10:14 AM  

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