Borderline Retarded

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

The "magical" birth experience....

I've been thinking a lot lately (Gee, I wonder why?) about my last labor and delivery. I am thinking it would be helpful for me to write it down to organize my thoughts and concentrate on my upcoming labor and delivery.

My pregnancy was not the best, I guess you could say. My morning sickness never went away. I was sick constantly. I had no energy, I had no "nesting" urges, I couldn't even walk half a block without throwing up. I also had high blood sugar I couldn't control through diet, so I had to give myself Insulin shots every night, as well as check my blood sugar three times a day. To top it off, my mom decided it was a good time to tell me that my dad had been cheating on her with a waitress, who turned out to be a stripper, and she was going to leave him. I don't think any of that was true, and she hasn't left him at all, and never talks about it anymore (thank GOD!).

The final two months of my pregnancy were the most stressful, nerve racking days I have ever had in my entire life. I think it was the prospect of labor and delivery that had me so scared. There was no way to get out of it, and there is nothing on Earth you can reference the process too as a comparison. I was also feeling extremely clingy to my husband, but I was trying not to push myself on him a the same time. He seemed to withdraw from me, and a week would go by without a hug or a kiss, and it was very difficult for me. I think he was just as scared as I was, more so, because he was so worried about what might happen to me. I think also he was in "awe" for lack of a better word, of the process my body was going through. It was difficult for me at times not to think that having a baby was the worst mistake I had ever made, that I had irreversibly changed the way my husband saw me. But, there was no going back. I just hoped that my husband didn't find me completely repulsive after watching me give birth. At the same time, I felt closer to him than I had ever felt before, having his child growing inside me was more intimate than I could have imagined.

I went to all of the classes the hospital offered. The most helpful one was the child seat safety class. I had no idea how friggin complicated those car seats really were. The other classes I could do without. I enjoyed Lamaze, but I don't think my husband did. It didn't help that the teacher was someone who had taught an earlier nutrition class that we both thought sucked. At the end of every class, the teacher would have you write comments down, and I think KOM ran out of room on two sides of paper about the deficiencies of the class.

Anyhow..... My due date was August 23rd. On about the 20th, I was laying in bed when I felt a warm gush come out of me. I looked at the sheets. It was a small amount of fluid, but it didn't smell like urine. I was certain that my water broke. I called the Dr.'s office. They told me I should check into the hospital. My heart was pounding so hard I could barely hear what the nurse was saying. I called my husband, who had just gotten into work maybe ten minutes earlier. He turned around and drove the half hour right back into town, and we headed to the hospital. I had called my mom, and my sisters. I told my mom not to drive in until we learned more.

After maybe 3 hours or so, the doctor came in and used a paper strip to test for amniotic fluid. Nothin. She said I had probably just peed, and checked my cervix. Still closed tight. I was so embarrassed! She did tell me that we would definitely induce if I went passed my due date, and we made arrangements to check in Monday morning to induce. I was mortified as we walked out of labor and delivery back out to the car. We actually saw a couple from our Lamaze class in the parking lot leaving with their baby. When we got home I cried and cried.

I'm surprised I slept at all on Sunday night. I woke up early, and was so nervous. We had to be at the hospital at 7:00. We got there right on time. It was apparently very busy in delivery, because they didn't have an actual room for me. I was set up in an operating room. I didn't care, except for the fact there was NO BATHROOM. I had to walk down the hallway and use the doctor's bathroom. At 9:00, the doctor came in and induced labor by cramming this teeny tiny little shard of a pill up onto my cervix. It started working within 15 minutes.

It seemed like every time they had a room ready, some other woman would be ushered into it because she had a baby hanging out or something. The nerve! It was quite a few hours later before they moved me into a regular room. Luckily it was a big room, to accommodate all 15 relatives I had in there with me! I was so happy to be surrounded by so much love and caring. I don't know what I would have done without them. Most people I think would rather have as few people as possible around them. But, I was happy!

I had just finished dinner and was sitting on the edge of the bed, when I decided I needed to use the bathroom. For some reason, I didn't want to stand up. I didn't know why, I just felt like I wanted to get up quietly without anybody noticing. I stood up, said "Oh geez!" and leaned over and gripped the dinner tray as about 3,000 gallons of water came flooding out of me. Everybody just stopped mid word, and stared at me. I started laughing, and realized that I would NEVER say "I think my water broke" ever again! My sisters went to get the nurse, and I went to the restroom. When I came back, the nurse was starting to sop up all the water. I did see the little paper strip floating on top had turned bright blue - meaning amniotic fluid. I suppose a person could pee that much, but it's doubtful!

My contractions were fairly mild for about 12 hours. By 10:00 pm, I was ready for some help. They gave me an injection in my IV of something like Tylenol with Codeine. It didn't work too well, I was ready for more before the 15 minutes had gone by. By 1:00, I was ready for the epidural. Luckily, this hospital has an anesthesiologist on staff just for the maternity ward, available 24 hours. The doctor came in, and I would say she was done putting in the epidural in 10 minutes. It was a very strange sensation as she injected the flexible tube under my skin. I felt it in all my nerves in my back at the same time. The medicine worked instantly too. I didn't feel the very next contraction that came along. I would have been able to sleep, except they had to put an arm cuff on me, and my blood pressure was taken automatically every 15 minutes. But, I did at least get some rest, as well as everyone else in the room. I think sometime after that, I started to feel my contractions again, but nothing too major. My sweet husband got up from the chair to hold my hand, and rub my arm every time I made the slightest peep.

At about 7:00 am, everybody left to get some breakfast. I noticed too that my contractions suddenly got more intense. The nurse told me that the baby's heart beat had started to dip during contractions, so they upped my pitocin, which makes the contractions harder. I definitely started to feel a lot of pressure in my groin, which they said would mean the baby had moved into the birth canal. I was very excited as I started to have the urge to push. They had me push a couple of times, and thanks to the Epidural, they could check me with their hands while I was pushing to see how I was progressing. They said my baby would be born probably within the next 1 to 3 hours after I started pushing. This was it!! I couldn't wait for everyone to get back from breakfast. Luckily, my mother and father in law showed up just after I started pushing, so they got to see their 8th grandchild be born. My father in law had not seen any of his other daughters give birth, so I felt extra special because he was there. He stayed in the corner out of the way, praying. I do remember my first thought with the first push - it was "how did Grandma do this six times?". My second thought with the second push was , "I am NEVER doing this again!". I think it would have been funny if I had said those thoughts out loud. But, at least I amused the hell out of myself!!

I think after the first three pushes, one nurse said to the other "You did call the Dr., right?" "Yes." "You did tell him to come NOW right?" I was so glad they didn't tell me not to push, that we had to wait for the doctor. Someone would have gotten hurt if I had heard those words!!

Unfortunately, I had drunk a large amount of apple juice just before I started pushing. I was worried about my blood sugar being too low, it was only at 70. That came right back up like nobody's business!! My chin was also quivering like I was in a snow storm. The nurse said it was probably just an adrenaline rush. Then, I realized that the horrible pain I was feeling at my rectum area was not the baby, but apparently a giant BM that felt like making an appearance. So, I puked and BM'd in front of everyone I know and love. Very special. I was told the nurse was very good about wiping everything away very quickly so nobody would see. They also kept asking me to lift my butt, so they could take away the wet absorbent sheets under me and expose a clean one. I don't think I have tried to do anything more difficult than try and lift my butt off the bed while minutes away from giving birth and having an epidural. You know, they should consider handing out awards after each of these births!!

My doctor arrived with just minutes to spare. He was very calm and reassuring, which is always nice. He very calmly told me when my flesh was about to tear. I could have cared less, and with everything else going on, I didn't feel it. I had my eyes closed for most of the hour it took to deliver my son, and I had my husband right by my side. I would just lift my hand up and he would grab it, he was everything I needed. He was the only thing I opened my eyes to look at. I remember not quite knowing if the baby's head had appeared yet, but thought that it had. I asked if we could see hair, and everyone kind of chuckled. I thought, Good God, the baby must be out by now, right? I kept thinking if the doctor said "just one more push" one more time, I was going to kick him in the head.

Finally, head and shoulders were out, and I just needed one little push to get the baby all the way out. He was born at 9:30 am on Tuesday morning. The doctor layed him right on my tummy. I remember marveling at how warm he was, and so soft. The nurse made sure my hand was on him. I could only cry and say "baby, baby, baby". The doctor looked at my husband and said "well, what sex is the baby?" I looked at my husband and it seemed like an eternity before he answered. I'm not even sure he did answer!! They swaddled him up, and let me hold him. He was an absolute dream. He was just beautiful, a big beautiful 9 1/2 pund boy. His head was perfect - not pointy or anything!! His little face was perfect. They took him while I was getting stitched up. I never did ask how many stitches, but the doctor was down there for a while!!

They kicked everyone out of the room, and my husband and I got to gawk at our newest little family member. I was so happy, and also so worried! What the hell did I know about taking care of a baby!! It was going to be very interesting from that point forward. My husband held the baby while I pigged out on breakfast. They had kept me on a liquids only diet for the past 24 hours, and I was starving. Starving and tired!!

Something happened too after I gave birth. Suddenly, my husband thought I was the sexiest creature on Earth, and he couldn't keep his hands off me. Words don't do justice to how amazed I was that after all of that, he still thought I was beautiful and wanted me. I had to slap him a couple of times though - he didn't quite seem to get the fact that I had STITCHES down there - don't touch! We tasted my milk, which was the sweetest thing I have ever tasted in my life. I hope every new parent does that too.

I am so much more at ease this time around. I am generally a very calm person, but giving birth turns women into something they've never been before! Maybe this time I will swear like a sailor and throw things around the room. You never know!


  • Wow. I am speechless. That was a great story. I am about to leave work now, but when I get home I'm going to have to read that one more time just to get everything in.

    By Blogger Jomama, at 12:01 PM  

  • My sister had 20 something hours of labour and contractions before they FINALLY c-sectioned. She has never forgiven them for not doing it earlier.

    They say the second is somewhat easier cos you've done it before, but then again... knowing what's coming would freak me out something bad too.

    Bah to the Britneys of this world who just pay for the C so they don't have "any" pain. Wimp.

    By Blogger Squishi, at 8:03 PM  

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