Borderline Retarded

Friday, September 30, 2005

I've been thinkin'......

........which is usually a bad sign.

My friend Maria and I were talking the other day about "chipping" our pets. One of our cats has a chip in it, the others do not. I don't know what the bonus would be, as I would think most people don't turn a cat into the shelter, they just bang pots and pans at it until it leaves the yard.

Somehow, this conversation led Maria to say "They can put a chip in your kid to track him." After staring blankly at each other for about 5 minutes, I said, "Can they really do that?" She says they can and do! I have never heard of such a thing. She says if she had been chipped when she was a kid, she would have it removed when she turned 18. I'm thinking - why? Because I don't want "The Man" to know how many times I go into Baskin Robbins? Doesn't "The Man" already know that anyway?

I then started to really think about it. We can locate our vehicles if they are stolen via sattelite, but if our kid gets yanked while we're at the grocery store, or sleeping in our beds, it's hasta la vista? What the hell is wrong with this picture? If they can "chip" my kid - do it now!! It's not like I'm going to be tapping into the sattelite to follow my precious little man when he's on his first date or out with his friends - How many thousands of kids go missing every year? Am I wrong in thinking this would be a great idea?


  • That's what the man wants you to think.

    It's a conspiracy, I tell you!

    By Blogger Reese The Law Girl, at 6:31 PM  

  • That's a tough one. As a parent, I agree. As a citizen, I'm a little creeped out.

    If the head of State weren't talking into the wrong end of a telephone I might be more inclined to think it was a good idea...

    By Blogger KOM, at 11:45 PM  

  • Chips are a very good thing and one day will be as normal as circumcision, as part or the circumcision procedure will involve planting a chip in the area of the body a man will protect before any other. Right there at the "v" of the glans. Girls will be chipped in a similar area, just uner the nook.

    With advancements in stem cell research we will soon be growing biochips within the host. The next obvious step is to reprogram human DNA just a little bit so it begins reproducing the programming to create a biochip as part of the cell dision and startup process.

    "Nursery Lab Instructor, why do I have a wart-like bump under the glans of my penis?"

    "Well THX-1138, that's called a bio chip. All little boys are born with one."

    By Blogger Yawn, at 7:40 AM  

  • It will be like every sci-fi movie or book about the "future" ever invented. There are always people with the "chip" that tracks their age - they can only live so long of course. Or it's a stone or something that if they lose, they die or something.

    By Blogger Robyn, at 11:06 AM  

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