Borderline Retarded

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Funny Pregnancy Story

I Had dinner with my friend Keri last night. She and I used to work together, but she moved on about a month ago. She had the funniest story about a girlfriend of hers who is pregnant:

According to Keri, Tracy and her husband have an active sex life - at least 3 times a week!! They are totally hard core. (just kidding.) She got pregnant, and I guess they didn't have sex for a while. Her husband was worried about miscarriage, she had lost a baby at about 2 months along last year. Finally, she told him they were GOING to have sex, she needed sex!! Well, while they're doing it, she goes into labor. Her husband freaks out completely. They go to the hospital, and Tracy, who is a nurse, is trying to tell him that it wasn't him that did it. The doctor backs her up. Needless to say, he refuses to have sex again for about two months. Finally, they have sex again, and she goes into labor again. Her husband says "That's it, I'm never touching you again!" Nothing Tracy or the doctor can say will change his mind. About two weeks later, she goes into labor again, having nothing whatsoever to do with her husband!! He finally realised that these things happen, but he has turned into ultra protective man.

She is 7 months along now, and the doctor told her to stop working. She isn't on bed rest, but was told to take it kind of easy the next few months. That being said, her house is so spotless you could eat off of any surface at any given time. She is bored to tears, and mentioned to her husband that she wants to go to Michael's craft store, and take a couple of classes. He said, "no." Just flat out, no. He told her "didn't the doctor say you need to stay at home? What happens if you go into labor?". Of course she replied that she would get in the car, and drive to the hospital. Right? He wouldn't hear any of it. She can go to her friend's house, because I guess he trusts them to take care of her, unlike the heartless vagabonds that work at Michael's.

Keri was hanging out at a friend's house with a bunch of other girls, and Tracy was there. Her husband was actually standing right in front of her, keeping himself in between his wife and everyone els. Keri asked him what he was doing. He said he wanted to make sure no one backed up into her!! Tracy rolled her eyes and said she would go sit down, so no one would back into her!

Tracy's husband is an independent contractor for DHL, so he calls her just about every hour or more to chekc in on her. One day she finally got fed up and turned off the phone. She heard his truck screeching into the driveway, and he came running into the house yelling for her. He found her in the bathtub, and said "Why didn't you text me that you were going to be in the bathtub?" Tracy at this point is starting to feel a bit edgy. So, she started text messaging him with "gotta pee", " doing a load or laundry", "just sneezed" and so on and so forth.

On the one hand, Tracy is about to kill her husband, on the other hand, she says it's a nice distraction from the actual pregnancy, and he worries more than enough for the both of them!!

I guess it's a fine line between caring too much, and not at all! Where is the middle ground? It's like in the movie "Parenthood", when Steve Martin and his wife are meeting with the school principle regarding their oldest son. The kid is high strung and tense, and freaks out easily. The wife says, "It's because he was first. We overreacted over every little thing when he was little. By the third kid, you let them juggle knives".

Hopefully if Tracy and her husband have any more kids, he will not be up her ass all day long!


  • I'm dense, so you're gonna have to break this down for me. She's gone into labor three times and she's only seven months along? I don't get how that's possible. I'm not even sure I understand what you mean when you say she went into labor.

    By Blogger Jomama, at 11:50 AM  

  • She started having contractions, which stopped on their own. If they had needed to stop her contractions with medication, she would be on strict bed rest until her due date. I guess the medication to stop contractions only works a few times, then there really isn't anything you can do. I don't think she started to actually dialate. The contractions were harder than your normal Braxton Hicks contractions, and didn't go away when she changed position or lay down.

    By Blogger Robyn, at 12:00 PM  

  • hahah too funny.

    I'd kill him. I've almost killed housemates for far far less...

    By Blogger Squishi, at 4:06 PM  

  • LOL! That's just wrong. But, it's also cute. "Why didn't you tell me you were taking a bath?" HA!

    By Blogger Reese The Law Girl, at 7:22 AM  

  • That's so funny!

    I went into labour when I was about 6 months along and nearly lost Ophelia. After that, Hubs put a few layers of bubble wrap around me.

    By Blogger Passerby A, at 5:56 PM  

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